Unexpected

A few posts ago, I talked about anticipation and several of the things I have been anticipating. The funny thing when I anticipate, I start to expect and hope a certain way. Sometimes doing so leads to disapointment. Other times the change is good.

For those of you who are now confused or don't know, a change in leadership has taken place in my job. And it's not the people I was expecting to come and work alongside of me this summer. However, regardless of how the change occurred the new leader I'm working with is wonderful. We get along great...so no complaints right? Well, I'm starting to get concerned. I sort of got tossed into helping the new one out, which isn't bad initally b/c I enjoy helping others. My concern lies in the fact that I'm beginning to feel as if the main reason I was hired this summer is falling in the background. I really feel as if my job of doing summer outreach took the backseat this week. Twice we had no kids show up...granted a freak thunderstorm was one of those days. I'm a bit disappointed in myself but I didn't have much say...plus I wanted to help out.
I feeling sort of in limbo this summer socially. I feel like I've been given ample opportunity to get to spend more time with the Lord. However, my focus keeps getting geared toward my lack of social events. Being realistic I don't have many friends in the area. I'm part to blame in that as I didn't keep up with them when I went away to college. At school I was quite social and spent a good chunk of my time invested in people. So I'm feeling that gap, something is missing feeling. I'm not trying to complain. I'm disappointed that I haven't really been called by anyone in a while. I've tried to plan stuff with others but so far haven't had much luck in coordinating schedules. Needless to say I'm being a bit self pitying in this post. For those of you that actually read this...I sort of feel stuck. I know in the back of my head that this isn't a big deal and I have a couple things lined up for next week. Which I'm starting to really look forward too. I know that there is a greater purpose to me being "home" than hanging out with friends and doing my job well. And I've gotten bored enough to start a 1000 piece puzzle and have less than 100 pieces left in one day.

My brother and I had another one of our loud conversations last weekend while my mom was out of town. Once we got past the initial stuff...I was able to get deep with him. To hopefully get him to listen to what the real problem is. The same thing that has been going on for three years in our family. It was a don't you get it, don't you see what's going on right in front of you? Do you care enough to make a difference? Or would you rather stay miserable b/c you're used to it so it's comfortable type conversation. To be honest I don't know if I got through, scared him, or just made him madder.

I have a feeling that some of my questions about relationships will be answered by the end of the summer. As for politics, I'm slowly working my way through God's Politics. So far, I really like it. i have found through my Jihad book by Ravi Zacharias, that moderate voices are becoming necessary in today's society. It makes sense. B/c I think the moderate can see the good and bad in both staunch conservatives and liberals. The moderate seems to be the negiotator in the political world. I'm beginning to realize the importance of understanding politics and political systems. I can't escape from it b/c politics are everywhere and have a heavy influence. I'm concerned that many are naive and don't really understand what's going on. I see that as dangerous. And as one who once backed away from politics b/c I lack understanding...I am going to learn and stop fearing what I don't know or understand yet.

What about you? Do you see politics as important? Do you understand? Or are you indifferent...do you even care?