Too Narrow or None At All

Well, I'm been meaning to write since last week but, work has sort of taken over my life, in a sense anyway. :)

I've been perplexed lately with vision. As I mentioned a few posts ago, I am attempting to understand more about politics and where my beliefs fall in the political realm. The second chapter of God's Politics is entitled: A Lack of Vision- Too Narrow or None at All. This title, has captured my attention. Perhaps because I myself have been wrestling with the vision of my church, a church I know, I am being prepared to work for one day. Does my church have a vision at all or has it become narrowed? Or perhaps, the vision has been knocked off kilter by priorities of leaders? While, I do realize that leaders are humans too, I am greatly concerned with the priorities of leaders, that I have been exposed to this summer. Can I trust that these leaders have been appointed by God and are seeking his face daily, regarding their leadership, decisions to make/made, and the people they serve in this division? Can anything to done to hold our leaders in better accountability. I read once, that it is important as a leader to be held accountable so that nothing you do can be called into question. I like this as, regardless what position we hold, we all need to held accountable. Once we're out of that accountability range, we're more apt to sin and the next thing we know we're doing things in secret, that we probably shouldn't be. Perhaps that is why there has been a pattern of priests mollesting boys, there isn't a stable accountability system for the priest. I'm not saying that a strong and stable accountability system is the be all and end all solution, but it's a start in the right direction.

Two things have helped encourage me through all the unexpectedness of this summer:

1. God is bigger than human decision. If we as humans make a mess of things b/c of selfish or politically based choices, God can still use it for his glory!
2. I was made to endure hard things, no matter how frustrating, angry, alone, or hurt I may personally feel, I never will be truely alone! The Lord is my rear guard (one of my favorite descriptions of Him)!! The Lord has been showing me in pieces, his dream for my life, which involves devoting my life to serve in my church. I consider it to be an honor and challenge. And I know that everything I have experienced this summer has played a part helping me to understand his dream for me.
Perhaps, I am not making much sense, I often think I don't make sense to anyone but the Lord, God who created me. I don't want to come off over-dramatic as is a tendency of mine. Things haven't been incredibly bad to be honest. B/c when I've started to feel confused, the Lord has provided a defense for me, using people to be a physical rear guard in those moments!

Another word that must go along with vision is passion. Have we lost our passion too?!? How do we keep our passion alive despite those things that seem to tug at it? Things like frustrations and hurts...hmm I'll have to do more thinking and praying about that one.
For those of you who are apart of the TSA, try to find time this week to read through Isaiah 58. It's a chapter, that I seem to associate with the ministry and potential of the SA. Read it and let me know your thoughts.

I have been quite serious in my posts as of late, I don't think this is totally appropriate but, I recently saw one of my favorite movies. This would be Dirty Dancing. It ranks in the favorites because:
1. It takes place in 1960s, I decade that never fails to fascinate me.
2. There is great music.
3. There is dancing.
4. And quite possibly the most ridiculous line, but my favorite part of the movie. The character played by Patrick Swayze, walks up to a table during the last program. And he quotes to Baby's family, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

Unexpected

A few posts ago, I talked about anticipation and several of the things I have been anticipating. The funny thing when I anticipate, I start to expect and hope a certain way. Sometimes doing so leads to disapointment. Other times the change is good.

For those of you who are now confused or don't know, a change in leadership has taken place in my job. And it's not the people I was expecting to come and work alongside of me this summer. However, regardless of how the change occurred the new leader I'm working with is wonderful. We get along great...so no complaints right? Well, I'm starting to get concerned. I sort of got tossed into helping the new one out, which isn't bad initally b/c I enjoy helping others. My concern lies in the fact that I'm beginning to feel as if the main reason I was hired this summer is falling in the background. I really feel as if my job of doing summer outreach took the backseat this week. Twice we had no kids show up...granted a freak thunderstorm was one of those days. I'm a bit disappointed in myself but I didn't have much say...plus I wanted to help out.
I feeling sort of in limbo this summer socially. I feel like I've been given ample opportunity to get to spend more time with the Lord. However, my focus keeps getting geared toward my lack of social events. Being realistic I don't have many friends in the area. I'm part to blame in that as I didn't keep up with them when I went away to college. At school I was quite social and spent a good chunk of my time invested in people. So I'm feeling that gap, something is missing feeling. I'm not trying to complain. I'm disappointed that I haven't really been called by anyone in a while. I've tried to plan stuff with others but so far haven't had much luck in coordinating schedules. Needless to say I'm being a bit self pitying in this post. For those of you that actually read this...I sort of feel stuck. I know in the back of my head that this isn't a big deal and I have a couple things lined up for next week. Which I'm starting to really look forward too. I know that there is a greater purpose to me being "home" than hanging out with friends and doing my job well. And I've gotten bored enough to start a 1000 piece puzzle and have less than 100 pieces left in one day.

My brother and I had another one of our loud conversations last weekend while my mom was out of town. Once we got past the initial stuff...I was able to get deep with him. To hopefully get him to listen to what the real problem is. The same thing that has been going on for three years in our family. It was a don't you get it, don't you see what's going on right in front of you? Do you care enough to make a difference? Or would you rather stay miserable b/c you're used to it so it's comfortable type conversation. To be honest I don't know if I got through, scared him, or just made him madder.

I have a feeling that some of my questions about relationships will be answered by the end of the summer. As for politics, I'm slowly working my way through God's Politics. So far, I really like it. i have found through my Jihad book by Ravi Zacharias, that moderate voices are becoming necessary in today's society. It makes sense. B/c I think the moderate can see the good and bad in both staunch conservatives and liberals. The moderate seems to be the negiotator in the political world. I'm beginning to realize the importance of understanding politics and political systems. I can't escape from it b/c politics are everywhere and have a heavy influence. I'm concerned that many are naive and don't really understand what's going on. I see that as dangerous. And as one who once backed away from politics b/c I lack understanding...I am going to learn and stop fearing what I don't know or understand yet.

What about you? Do you see politics as important? Do you understand? Or are you indifferent...do you even care?